SloeBurn -:- Ending This -:- Thurs, May 03, 2001 at 21:17:37 (GMT)

__ suchabanana -:- tough,but True;the Process may be hard but FREEing -:- Fri, May 04, 2001 at 11:16:31 (GMT)

Date: Thurs, May 03, 2001 at 21:17:37 (GMT)
From: SloeBurn
Email: None
To: Everyone
Subject: Ending This

My wife was a premie since the early 70s.. I guess still is although she hardly every attends events any more. Sends our hard earned cash though. Anyway, I love her so much and none of that matters to me. The way I found out about this website is that I was doing some investigation into 'finding Knowledge' for myself. One one hand, she says it is the most fulfilling thing in her life, on the other hand, her eyes look sad when she talks about it. In the past, if I challenged the idea (I challenge everything until I can prove what's True) she would totally freak and start acting kooky. She is normally a very level headed gal. I went to a local meeting and watched the videos which seemed really great. However, the people seemed to be in a somber zombie-like state. I was worked up for this and expected to see people radiating intense joy. I have met some enlightened people and that is how they appeared. Comfortable in themselves, and so beaming with happiness that it overflowed to all around them. These folks seemed like they were enduring a long and painful sickness. But the message still sounded great and I kept doing research (I am a seeker, but I seek very carefully) I found out about all of this (the child abuse stuff, the things about Lord M, etc.) and I presented it to her gently. I think I may have made a big mistake. She is acting funny... I am worried about her mental health. Can she take it if all of this stuff turns out to be true? Has anyone here brought a loved one safely 'down from the mountain'? Are my worries that she will have a breakdown justified? For our relationship and her well being I want her to be rid of this cult. There are real Masters out there and they don't act like this. The genuine Masters I have met are very normal very humble hard-working middle class folks, but they have that something special and radiant that makes your arm hair stand on end. On the other hand, I am beginning to believe that she has built so much of her inner strength on this straw god that she might fall apart if he is exposed to her as a phony. I would almost rather have her keep believing in him.. but I also love her too much to watch her making a fool out of herself. Okay.. I am rambling, but I would love some feedback and advice. I was hoping maybe I could connect with some of the people she used to know who maybe got out safely.

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Date: Fri, May 04, 2001 at 11:16:31 (GMT)
From: suchabanana
Email: None
To: SloeBurn
Subject: tough,but True;the Process may be hard but FREEing

Dear brother,

You sound like a very caring and conscious person.

Especially for the premie longtimers, confronting the dirty hidden skeletons in the cult closet and the money trail [at least the parts that haven't been erased or laundered] begins what can be a difficult but liberating process.

First, some of us invested a huge chunk of our adult lives in the cult belief system surrounding m.'s personality cult. Some of us sacrificed the allegedly worthless illusions of careers and relationships, perhaps lived in ashrams, regularly gave hard-earned money that could have been better spent on ourselves or poor families, spent thousands of evenings at indoctrinating cult events, framed our life cosmology around dysfunctional miragey as the central concept-maker and worldly authority figure, and gave him the kind of unbridled love and devotion truly only worthy of the real God [or life energy] residing within each of us ourselves.

The 4 techniques of meditation themselves are very old, and are shown by others, too, sometimes with no strings of devotion attached whatsoever. The come-on that the so-called knowledge is free is not true -- miragey sells it with a price - buying into him in order to receive it. Those strings are further sewn into the individual [like a puppet] by promoting the notion [via innuendoes nowadays] that one's inner experience is somehow tied to or reliant on him -- a fallacy. One can practice meditation and have some peace of mind and nice experiences without devotion to him at all, or going to the mind-numbing Big Brother vids, either.

When m. first came to the West, he presented himself as the Lord saviour in human form - divine. Now, it's watered down for acceptability and palatability in those societies where many people are now wary of cults and have heard about Jonestown, the Rajneesh debacle, Scientology brainwashing, Sly Baba, Maranatha, holy rollers, evangelical rip-off artists, Hale-Bop suicides, and other cults.

The decades of mental and emotional reinforcement by m.'s lectures, the videos, and association with other premies themselves create a huge mental onion of cumulative layers, that when peeled, however, reveals an emptiness at the core -- that is, the part surrounding m. and the cult organization itself.

Now, there are some of us who still enjoy doing various techniques of meditation. For instance, I incorporate some zen and Tibetan approaches of breath meditation. Even my mainstream medical doctors recommend breath meditation for health and relaxation. Also, I generally meditate on the inner light and inner sounds now in a quiet dark room [at night or early morning] without poking my fingers on my eyeballs or into my ears. I actually feel closer to my own Creator [or energy] within me, now that there is no mental obstacle of a guru or intermediary in between.

Giving blind devotion to m. for years has engendered a false sense of learned helplessness and has perpetuated a co-dependent relationship on the part of many people, whereby thousands of premies have been enabling his own dysfunctional life and addiction to gross materialism [the maya] at the expense of their own lives and destinies and the fulfillment of personal goals.

Miragey preached a mantra of 'no cheat, no deceit.' However, the facts presented on this site reveal a clear pattern of cheat and deceit by m. and his organization. He denounced drugs [and many premies felt guilty for indulging], yet did them himself - pot, booze, cigs. He and the org practically extorted money from premies through guilt trips to support propagation. Yet, the majority of the money has gone to support him and his extended family in fabulous riches. He loves to quote Kabir, yet he avoids telling the premies that Kabir also said emphatically that a true saint or perfect master does Not ask for or accept material wealth/riches from his devotees. He ran over and killed a bicyclist in India with his car, then switched cars in the motorcade, split the scene and let an innocent premie take the blame instead. He knew about reported complaints regarding a pedophile instructor, yet did not facilitate justice or offer apologies or compensate the victims or their families. After he got a cream pie in the face in Detroit in '73 and his brother, the WPC, and some instructors instigated a retaliatory murder attempt that almost killed reporter Pat Halley, he ordered his subordinates [including Michael Donner and involving DLM President Bob Mishler] to aid and abet the cult fugitives from the law to avoid prosecution and adverse publicity (e.g. 'get Fakiranand out of the country'). He and his older brother waged a bitter court battle in India over the earthly spoils of the family 'guru business.' He asked his personal financial advisor Michael Dettmers to procure young blonde premie women for his sexual pleasure, while he was married to Marolyn. Money that well-intentioned premies donated ostensibly for propagation and DLM/Elan Vital has been routinely diverted for expensive cars, planes, yachts, residences, watches, and other trinkets and material riches for 30 years. He authorized the creation of shell corporations [e.g. Seva], not EVI, that actually control the assets derived from the premie donations; and he controls those corporations through the interlocking directorates [in fact, the $7 million yacht Serenity is listed as being for the personal benefit and use of the 'owner']. He also derives wealth from premie-owned businesses in which he was given shares. Amaroo is not a non-profit corporation land holding. He sold the Malibu house premies bought for him for $250,000 back for about $5 million 4 years later, yet still lives in that house today remodeled and maintained at premie expense [estimated at 28,000 sq. ft. with a marker value of $25 million]. After purchasing and refurbishing expensive luxury jets with premie money, he has repeatedly gone out and bought new more expensive luxury jets, only getting a fraction of the projected mileage and lifespan on each plane. He has allowed his aides to verbally bully and abuse the premies. When the ashram premies began aging and it became evident that the cult would eventually need a medical plan and retirement homes in the future, he disbanded the ashrams instead.
He led premies to believe that they should pray to and worship him, even though he apparently admitted that he did not hear their prayers. Instead of taking any blame for mistakes or failings due to his directions, he routinely put the blame and guilt trips on his subordinates, the organization, and his devotees. He has to date not accepted responsibility, blame, or accountability for these things.

No cheat, no deceit -- That is why, finally, many of us longtime devoted premies had to say 'adios'. I mean, come on, how much does it take before intelligence kicks in -- even in spite of the cult brainwashing to subjugate our wicked minds and never leave room for doubt, especially regarding him. Sure, lots of us have messed up, too, in various ways in our lives. But none of us has claimed to be the master of perfection, the Lord of the Universe, the satguru, the saviour of mankind. What kind of role model do we have here? What kind of saviour of mankind behaves thus to his own devotees? What kind of master of hypocrisy is worthy of such blind devotion? Is this just some divine game [lila] or illusion being played? No! Are the facts presented on the website lies? No. Most of them come from public records and/or eyewitness accounts.

Ok, now, what to do? When a longtime premie sees the information posted on this site, here are some typical reactions/patterns: initial disbelief, dismissal, justification, and anger, denial, then maybe some curiosity, then upon further investigation: shock, pain, sense of betrayal, anger, bitterness, sadness, then a sense of a veil being removed from one's eyes, a burden being released, gradually a newfound freedom, a sense of growing self-awareness and discovery, self-esteem, and a desire to experience more out of life that was missing or previously denied.

There is a gentler forum for recent exes or people leaving the cult. Sometimes this place [people] can be kind of harsh. If she seems fragile already, then get the recent exes email address from the forum administrator [as listed above in the menu at the top of the page]. Also, I would recommend finding a good certified mental health counsellor (with Ph.D. or at least M.A.), preferably one who is somewhat knowledgeable in this field of cult detachment [but one who is not attached to any cult or religious trip]. There are some self-help books that help, pertaining to codependency, personal space, setting personal boundaries, respecting oneself, etc. Lots of longtime premies seem sad -- for good reason. They have suffered and endured a life of emotional deprival and suppression of their own unique essences, dreams, and intellects, in many respects. Their lives have been sublimated and sacrificed at the altar of miragey's Napoleonic gluttony.

That having been said about miragey [master of the mirage]. I finally had to forgive him, because the anger and bitterness of betrayal was a terrible burden for me to carry around anymore. However, I hold him and the organization accountable for a number of things that have affected the premies and their families, and there must be full disclosure and responsibility accepted. Upon my last breath, I don't wish to be judged, either, for the pathetic failings and mistakes in my own life. But, because of my devotion to miragey, my only beloved child was taken from me, and I was denied my rights as a Dad in court, for being a cult member -- right after the Jonestown massacre. Now, my adult son won't even give me his phone number or address -- he is still angry and bitter, too. So, the harm has thus been perpetuated and passed along to another innocent generation - premie children. Imagine the prolonged suffering I went through when my wife left the cult and walked out, and then I was not even permitted to have my boy visit me, when I lived in a premie house!

I would naturally advise kindness and patience, lots of walks, talks, listening, hugs, and making and taking some time for special new experiences and fun or interesting excursions, finding a new vitality and joy in the simple everyday pleasures of existence, discovering and nurturing latent talents, professional and personal interests, and sharing new adventures together. Also, once [and if] she voluntarily takes the first step toward cult recovery, get rid of any miragey photos in the house, vids, etc. that are constant reminders.

I really must go now. I hadn't anticipated reading your post. But, after reading about your situation and your wife's plight, I felt honorbound and compelled to immediately respond. I wish you and your spouse abiding happiness and the best of luck -- and a new life of shared journeys, contentment within your hearts, and peace in your minds.


Peace and lentils,

da lil' swami
[who is such a banana, too]
jai suchabanana... haha

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